Chromium Dioxide is a Canadian print magazine built on a worship of all things metal: Horror flicks, high volume, vinyl obsession, lurid excess and of course, the TUNES!!! Written and illustrated entirely by the savage duo of Dave "BBQtioner" Slimer and Philthy "Soft Serve" Animal, Chromium Dioxide is a screaming, twisted print journey into the demented psyche of your inner headbanger!! Each issue is laced with 100% hand drawn art throughout. Interviews with famous and not so famous musicians, bands and horror film personalities abound, as well as a huge variety of articles on everything metallic!! Don't take our word for it... look at this shit!!!! Crank it!!
Philip Bernard A.K.A. Philthy, Soft Serve, Phillikins, Philbo Baggins, Papa Nature

Co-founder of this sacred magazine, sole-illustrator, & Editor-in-Chief with a natural hatred for the overall gayness of proof-reading.  Philthy was born in Wabush, Labrador, was terrible at sports, average in school, & spent the majority of his youth loitering in video stores & getting the shit kicked out of him at the arcade when not hanging out on the back of convenience stores dumpster diving for disregarded pornography.

Bernard’s obsessions with metal, horror, AOR pomp & 80’s Sex romps have led him down a general path to nowhere, & while he is considered to be a wild disappointment to his family, he’s an alright, solid dude.

When not working on Chromium, Philthy is a freelance illustrator for bands, mags & children’s placemats.

  

Favorite Bands: JUDAS PRIEST, RAZOR, ANTHRAX, The CARS, &  MERCYFUL FATE

Hero: Rodney Dangerfield, Charles Bronson, & Bib Fortuna

If not working for Chromium: Most likely pediatrics or pro-golf


Click image to see Philthy's Portfolio
 

Dave Slimer aka Slimy Snaxx, Children of the Dave, "Gentle Hands" David, and "That Cunt, Dave".

No less than 50% responsible for the genesis of Chromium Dioxide. Herr Slimer is also editor-at-large, tastemaker, and chief contributor to the glory of Chromium. Young David was initially attracted to Chromium Dioxide due to an acidic disdain for most music journalism and his hopeless addiction to horror, sleaze and heavy metal. Indeed, "Just a bunch of fuckin' twats!" is Slimer's common reaction to the glut of meaningless and irresponsible film and music "reportage" out there today.

After failed career attempts as a budget-carrier airline "steward" and rough-trade saline solution injection specialist, Slimer helped create Chromium Dioxide in order to set "the fuckin' record" straight. The exciting world of obscure film and heavy metal is still reverberating.

   Conversations about David's childhood are invariably terse and mysterious, often ending in stifled tears. He is seemingly unbeatable at Nintendo's "Caveman Games" and his procrastination skills are UNPARALLELED.

Favorite Bands: Dark Angel, Entombed, Black Sabbath, Repulsion, .38 Special.

Heroes: D.D. Crazy, Shoko Asahara.

If not working for Chromium: Floral arrangement technician, or Scholar of the Profane and Obscure.
 

Craig Sheldon Rose A.K.A. Rosie, Rhoads, Craig Young, Craig Wiggens, Parkdalemassive, Shekie, Huge Chi

Freelance writer and contributor for Chromium Dioxide, Rose is a personal consultant and confidant of every huge Chi in any meritworthy metal band in Toronto. Rose was born and raised on the streets of Scarborough, Ontario. He started touring at age 16 with Canadian thrash metal band Sacrifice, and though he held a valid driver's license, Rose still needed help placing long distance calls from foreign countries to explain to his parents his absence from any and all family holiday gatherings.

Aside from past duties playing bass in Toronto bands Dark Legion and Association Area, Rose was a major contributor and layout artist for the Toronto Music filthrag Doomhauled. Rose’s obsessions with metal, porno, hashish & midgets have led him down a general path to tour-managing a slew of your favourite rock and Metal acts.

When not contributing to Chromium,

 

Rose carefully steps over the members of travelling bands sleeping on his floor, gives 3 minute movie reviews of foreign cinema and refrains from social networkin

Favorite Bands: JUDAS PRIEST, CARCASS, WINTERSUN, GETO BOYS

FUN FACTS: Once received a lap dance from a Hungarian midget in a strip joint in the west end. The scene was rite greasy

Hero: Clint Eastwood and Pee Wee Herman

If Not working for Chromium: Most likely be an authority on Mexican Drug Cartel’s
 

T.R.O.X.X. (Tactical Robotic/Organic Extensible #10) Unit

PRIMARY MILITARY SPECIALTY: Post-apocalyptic population control/liquidation. The TROXX unit figured chiefly into the government’s “First Strike” agenda by providing a sure means of controlling riot-prone, mania-stricken populations in the event of nuclear war.

Though the biped scout is the creation of the enigmatic Japanese super-genius, TOP SCIENTIST, much of his personality & behavioral traits can be linked back to the poor, unfortunate life of a Hispanic sandal maker, Emesto Torres. After Torres’ son, Castillo, was accidently killed in a hot water boiler installation gone awry, the devastated father agreed to donate the body to science for the betterment of mankind & a satellite dish. TOP SCIENTIST’S intentions weren’t as pure. A trail of weapon sales dated from 7/15/86 linked him to Nicaraguan/Libyan Terrorist Connections.

Seemingly destined for a bleak life of govt. sponsored bloodshed & terror, the TROXX unit started to malfunction on an emotional level. Inundated with a confusing mess of discrete mathematical impulses, mingled with the frayed essence of Castillo’s memories, TROXX rebelled against his maker, moved out & got his own place. He was instantly drawn to an environment where his morbid atrocity of steel and flesh form would be commonplace - Cincinnati, Ohio.

Forging a Social Security number, TROXX took a job at an inbound call center to make ends meet. Apart from his work, he also maintained an  active social life. His ability to

 

buy cigs & smokes made him a hit with Cinci’ teens. Through these connections, TROXX was introduced to metal. Overtime, he would devour all things metallic; Rudy Sarzo & Spanish Thrash; DEFIANCE, however, his absolute favorite band on earth.

After his intro to the genre, the T-10 unit developed a rabid fascination with the combinatorial patterns & theorems related to the bass guitar. His unorthodox approach to bass playing earned him a cover article on the June, 2001 edition of “Bass Player Monthly”.

Anxious to snatch up the renowned military experiment gone awry to harnesshis bass prowess, TROXX was invited to audition for local Cinci-power thash act, JULIUS SEIZURE.

In late 2009 his boundless knowledge of metal earned he & his foul-mouth piece, Castillo a gig CHROMIUM DIOXIDE. He is the OFFICAL MASCOT of the mag.

FAV. MOVIE: ROBOCOP/AGAINST ALL ODDS

SEXUAL ATTRACTION: KATHLEEN TURNER & 7-UP MACHINES.

KNOWN ACCOMPLICES: ALTER-EGO VENTRILOQUIST DOLL, CASTILLO, PHILTHY & DAVE.

ENEMIES: AIDS MONKEY, SMUG BASTARD, TOP SCIENTIST, DUDE FANCY, THE ORIGAMI CROW & THE EGLINGTON DUMPLING GANG.

IF NOT WORKING FOR CHROMIUM: Modify itself to become a Sybian machine.
     
   
   

Inti A. Paredes A.K.A. David Cassidy,

      Ah, the fuckin’ temp! The youngest & newest member of Chromium’s rogue gallery. Inti was hired for 3 reasons: 1. Constant nagging of softserve/soft spot-Philthy 2. Is a hilarious dead-ringer for 70’s heart-throb, David Cassidy 3. We’re  harvesting his young liver when ours fail.

      18 going on 19, Inti  grew up in the apocalyptic suburban wastelands of Brampton, Ontario, surviving on whatever scarce scraps of  metal he could  find left behind in the desperate 2000’s. His introduction to metal , like us all, stemed from prolonged exposure to JUDAS PRIEST videos in Junior High. From that day forth BATMAN comics & baseball card collecting took the filthy back seat to a life dedicated to slabs of vinyl & worn out, secondhand cassettes.

      The Elders of Chromium do not consider Inti a human being as of yet. He is a fetcher of scotch, ice, BBQ Fritos, folder of slacks & will be held accountable for any further mag typos. In the mean time he is honored & allowed to hang out with these steel visionaries & welcomed to soak up their brazen fuckin genius & dynamic levels of ignorance.

       Inti plans on starting a band when he gets his shit together & looks forward to being reviewed quite poorly by the tyrants that run this piece o’

  

shit magazine & is the author of  Hard and Heavy Metal News Blog:

http://hardandheavyreviews.blogspot.com/

 

Favourite Bands: Judas Priest, Lizzy Borden, Tank, Riot, Dio

FUN FACT: On March 26th 2007 a grade 9 Inti kissed his mom good bye as he left for "school", only to execute a carefully 2 week planed mission: Skip school and make way to the big unknown city of Toronto to see the lord all mighty Dio in his Heaven and Hell glory. While it was unforgettably the best concert he'd ever seen, he  paid the price when he came back the next day. Inti is still grounded

If Not working for Chromium: He’d be performing stripograms for 45-year old women wanting to finally live out their David Cassidy dreams.

Heroes: Randy Rhoades, David Lee Roth, Bruce Kulick, George Harrison

 

Site contents, except where otherwise noted, Copyright Chromium Dioxide 2011.
Website design by Christopher Greene.